Why Do Men Behave Like Women

Since ancient times men have been the provider and the protector. God gave them a logical mind to aid in the survival of their families whereas women were supposed to sit at home and control the kids and cook that raw deer the men brought home after hunting. Women had nothing to do other than that, and logic had nothing to do with whatever chores women had to perform inside their straw homes. But there was something that had to be developed, so women developed sensitivity. Sensitivity for her kids and also sensitivity for her fellow females who needed someone to be sensitive with them so that they may not feel alone. Among other things that developed was their ability to multitask, to seduce and to nag.
  
In ancient times, that is in the golden ages women subconsciously knew about this difference so they did not interfere with the men's psyche. Things got worse when the gap between men's rationality and a women's sensitivity squeezed to an ant. Women thought that they could also be rational and men were falsely made to believe them by men's own stupidity and a women's carnal abilities. Things were going well until the balance between men's rationality and women's sensitivity was disturbed. Men started behaving like women and women not aware of whatever's happening blamed it on the guy, and so these phrases like,

"Don't be a pussy."

"You're such a girl."

"Stop crying like a girl."

"Why are you so sensitive?" Came into existence.

Reality check ladies. You want us to be sensitive and when we start behaving like it, you curse us to be behaving like you.

Are men to be blamed ? Yes! God gave you the gift of reason and you let it get wasted by trusting some extraterrestrial, oversensitive species, more than yourself (there are scientific proofs that women actually came from Venus). You just want to believe them or they will make you believe them, and they have the means to do that.  You get seduced by their beauty and their lustful ways. Inside you know that you don't want to do as they want, because you know that it may not be in your best interest, but she is still able to carry you away with her irresistible scent and her jaguar like curves. 

God made men with with just one manufacturing defect. Actually there are two but I would like to talk about one. Like in the words of Robin Williams.

"God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."

This is so true. This is men's weakness and men who can control it, can control their girl and control their world.

So why am I even writing this article ? To tell you about a fact? To discuss something ? None of it. I just want to talk. Want to talk you about how things are. Maybe you could give me a solution to this. What happens to men's reason when women come and ask us to do the most illogical thing ? What happens to my reason when I try and concentrate on my big presentation tomorrow at work and I think about her and can't concentrate? Why can't men say no to something when that thing is asked of them during a passionate kiss? Why do men have the urge to not see women's grouchy and sad faces and eventually yield to their outrageous demands? 

All I know that for us men nothing is for free. We have to pay for everything be it for a pizza or keeping his woman happy, whereas for women everything is free. Things have been like this since ages and I dread that things may not change in the near future.

Is there a solution or are we damned to live in this constant war of logic vs sensitivity inside our magnanimous brains? 

Booze Booze Everywhere, Not A Scotch To Sniff

Sheer awkwardness and helplessness can overwhelm you so badly during certain situations. I recently went through such an experience. Me and my relatives went to this Pub where everybody was allowed to drink but me, and this was due to me being the youngest of them all.

I was too devastated than frustrated to an ocean of booze all around, and not being able to take just a pint or two out of the shore myself. I got so pissed that I sat in my place and did not talk to anyone. My father noticed me and began his unrelenting ordeal to make small talk with me. Just to figure out what was going on in my mind.

Excerpts from that talk.

What I wanted to say

Dad : " Why aren't you saying anything?"
Me : " I am not saying anything because I so very badly wanna do something else with my mouth."
After a little while.

Dad :" Don't be bored. We are here for a very "short" stay. Atleast you should enjoy."
Me : "What? Did you say shot? I am up for one."

Dad : " Is anything bothering you?"
Me : " No dad, it's everything that is bothering me and what bothers me the most is that you have had your 3 large and I cannot even sniff my  regular scotch."

Dad : " Eat properly, do you not like the food."
Me : " My throat is really dry dad,it's choking, can I order a drink to wet it a little? Maybe then the food will slide down my throat !"

My dad telling other guests,
Dad : " My son is a very fun loving person, but he takes some time to open up."
Me : " Yeah dad, just let me order one little one and I swear that I won't require a single second to open up."

What I really said

Dad : " Why aren't you saying anything?"
Me : " Got this really important mail to send." I said while playing temple run 2 in my phone.

After a little while.
Dad : " Don't be bored. We are here for a very "short" stay. Atleast you should enjoy."
Me : " I am enjoying dad just don't feel like saying much." I said crossing 5000 metres.

Dad : " Is anything bothering you?"
Me : " Nothing dad, just don't feel like talking."

Dad : " Eat properly, do you not like the food."
Me : " Had too much in evening snacks. I feel so full."

My dad telling other guests,
Dad : " My son is a very fun loving person, but he takes some time to open up."
I let go of this comment with a smile in my face.


**Sighh**

The Art Of Moving On : Practical Techniques On How To Let Go And Move On After A Nasty Breakup

"Sometimes you just have to turn around, give a little smile, throw the match and burn that bridge. Learn from your mistakes and change them for the better."

Hey fellow readers! Let me tell you all a little bit about myself before we go on this journey of  'Moving On'. First! I am just a person. Second ! I have also been in love and have had my heart broken into small, tiny, microscopic pieces. Third! I am not a relationship expert who has all the answers and I'm sure nobody has. What I have to offer, is an experience, an experience that I will share with you in parts.

'Moving On' is an art and since we all are artists in some way or the other we can all learn to practice this art and master it eventually. An attachment to the past not only gives rise to unnecessary emotional stress but also hinders the natural process through which you improve and transform yourself to become a better human being. A large part of the human race, the young and the old, find it difficult to move on after a break up.

"A body tends to be in its present state before being acted upon by some force," as Newton says it; the first law of motion is so analogous to our psyche as well. We are resistant to change, always reluctant to move forward. We always want the old ways back, we are emotionally tied up to the place we grew up, we're emotionally tied to our first bike, our families and our childhood pet. While all these memories are healthy, emotional attachment to your EX can be detrimental to your emotional and physical well being.

Here are some powerful tips that, if taken seriously, will surely help you to forget about her and get on with your life.

Moving On Tip No.1 

Decide firmly that you want to move on : Are you sure you want to move on and you definitely don't want to go back and make things better? Yes ? Then carry on reading. First, make sure that you won't go back what comes may. Whenever you have a strong urge to go back, think of the scenarios that will help you to stay away from her. It may be the regular fights, the constant nagging, her many male friends, her habit of flirting with other guys, her non-understanding attitude, her indifference towards you, etc. Think about what may go wrong if you get back together. Write it down on a piece of paper and say it out loud. Maybe you are sure that the flame wont be reignited, that you are exhausted,  and that going back will only make things worse for you if not better.

After thinking about all this are you still sure? Then read further my dear friend !

Moving On Tip No.2

Remind yourself the kind of 'BITCH' she was : Remember the day when she turned your friends against you? Or when she told you that she's out with her family and went to meet a mysterious guy friend? Or do you remember how bad she made you feel about yourself everyday ? Or how she ignores your calls when she is with her friends ? Also, do you remember when she said that she will leave you if her parents won't approve of you?
Every time you feel like going back to her, please remind yourself what kind of a bitch she was to make you feel so angry so unwanted and unappreciated. How she cheated or fooled you into believing that this relationship will last forever or that she will never ever leave you or lie to you.

Moving On Tip No.3

If she's happy without you then why can't you be? : Girls have an excellent ability, the ability which helps them score good grades even when their relationships are going through a hard phase or even in the midst of a break up; if you are put in the same scenario you will hopelessly struggle to concentrate on a single word and have difficulty to even score a decent 'D'. It is a very rare gift from the almighty, a gift of 'forgetfulness'. They can easily forget anyone or anything. So far, guys have not been able to develop this ability but I'm sure evolution will help bring this ability in the future men's race and then we can be at par with  ladies on this so called 'GIFT OF FORGETFULNESS'. Until then keep fighting the good fight comrades!

Yes, girls forget and she has forgotten everything about you. She's forgotten all about the great times you had, the bond that you shared, the compassionate kisses and intimate hugs. She may also be busy making new memories altogether with your best friend, then why do you have to bother so much and stick yourself to those past experiences. Be happy, talk to new people,date, flirt and make your own experiences. Do whatever makes you happy. What would you like to do if you had time just for yourself? Do it now, this is the right time. Make use of this period of joy, it is also a gift from the almighty. Think about the activities that make you happy rather thinking about her and just go forth and do those activities.

Moving On Tip No.4

You Are Awesome. Love and reward yourself everyday : Remember ! You are You!!  Shun any self-deprecating thought. Hit the gym, go swimming, go watch your favorite game or immerse yourself in an activity that you love to do. Make use of the new found freedom and do something constructive with it. Remember that being in a romantic relation is a full time job and does not give you enough time to concentrate on yourself and the things that matter to you.

Start Loving yourself, you are awesome!

Moving On Tip No.5

Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, why are you still hitting yourself ? (In the words of the great Mike Myers): Got this one from the movie 'The Love Guru'. The most important thing that you should stop doing right now is blaming yourself. If anything, blame her ! Blame her for not understanding, for not paying attention to your wants and desires. Blame her for her selfishness and egoism. Blame her for lying to you. Have infallible faith in yourself when you blame her. Thoroughly believe that whatever blame you are putting on her is absolutely correct. This will give you a satisfaction that you could never have imagined, try it and experience the 'Wonders of blaming'.

Moving On Tip No.6

Understand that pain is only transient : You need to understand that what you are feeling right now is only transient and will only last until you have found yourself a suitable match. One of the goals of the human race is to find a suitable match and live their whole lives with them or in a nutshell 'Reproduce'. Understand that the goal will be reached eventually but now the path will be different. The pain will only last until you find the one who is best for you. Until then live your life going around with random chicks and being hopeful in the background.

I will be posting some more tips on the Art Of Moving On, until then practice all the techniques given above and tell me how they make you feel. Keep visiting my blog as I try to fight this 'Not Moving On Amongst Guys' syndrome.

Pros And Cons Of A Breakup - A Thorough Analysis

Cheers to the Absolute Vodka of our lives - Happy Women's Day

This Women’s Day, cheers to all the women in my life. Thanks to my mom for being my strength and also my worst critic. Thanks to my sis-in-law for her patience in dealing with me. Thanks to my elder sister for making my breakfast at 6 in the morning when I went to school. Thanks to my X girl friend for teaching me that I should not let any girl to get out of my control :D.

I can’t describe and I can’t predict the depth of the effect that these ladies continue to have on my life. Above all a mother is the epitome of patience who lovingly bears all of our tantrums from the day we were born. Your sister is your best companion, your friend, your silent guardian (guards you from dad’s wrath), your teacher (my sis used to teach me math, all the time), she’s the one who’s next to your mother and what not. I can write a book on my sister and yet not be satisfied. Then enters your GF, she teaches you how to control yourself from killing anyone even if you have all the intention to do so. She teaches you that going out in the evening is essential for your well being even if you are in a crisis or in middle of your exams…haha, other than the good part she also teaches you to love, to live and most importantly come out of your beloved couch and really start doing something. Then comes your sis-in-law who is a completely different breed altogether. At first she seems like she’s coming from a different world but after some time she becomes your best companion and inspiration. She teaches you to be patient, she takes care of the family and she understand you. Even if she’s not able to understand your brother she will understand you; she’s a friend and after your sis gets married and leaves you, she’s the one to fill her gap.

A Grand Salute To All These Women, they have been an inspiration. In the end we men know that without the opposite sex we’re an empty mineral water bottle which will only be worth when either it contains mineral water or water mixed with Absolute Vodka. 

Cheers to the Absolute Vodka of our lives. 

Just Chat : How To Start A Conversation With The Girl You Like

               
So you like this girl since the third standard and u are not able to tell her. Now you are in the tenth standard, your hormones have started to kick real bad and still you can't muster the courage to talk to her. You see her talking to other guys and you wonder,"Damn! Why can't I do that? Those guys are so lucky." You think that you are in love but how will you make her realise? So one day you are fed up, you're just about to blow up, you can't take it any more, you'll have to tell her otherwise you'll die, and then you commit the worst mistake. You go straight to her and tell her," Uhh!! Excuse me." She looks at you, gives you a confused look still you go on and you say it, those deadly words," I love you, sorry to startle you but I do." And you expect her to hug you and say, "Hey, I love you too, lets go out for a coffee," but instead of this the opposite happens. She'll says "Oh! I'm sorry but I'm not interested," or maybe she says "Fuck off despo!" or if things are a lot worse she'll say "I'm not interested, do I even know you?" See you never existed for her. What if, somebody you never knew existed came to you( no matter how cute ) and says "Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hun"( "I'm bearing your child punk!" ). Then what will your reply be? Certainly not nice.( Though you should reconsider based on the level of cuteness of that girl :DDDD)


 Well, from what I've learnt from my experience, girls are no aliens brothers. They like to talk to us as much as we like to talk to them. So go on, you like this girl? Just go and chat! Don't think a lot. A very famous author wrote "What you concentrate on gets bigger."( Why the hell I can't remember the names of these famous authors ugghhhh). So don't make any strategies, any virtual talk shows or any kind of conversation in your mind because they'll certainly be negative and they'll get bigger and bigger and eventually you'll end up not doing what you're supposed to do. Just take a deep breath, go to her and JUST CHAT. She'll certainly not kill you, she may not talk to you but she will not kill you. If you approach her courteously and in a disciplined way she'll definitely not hit you on your face! So you can relax.

I believe that every complex problem has a very simple solution. So do you like this girl? Just go and chat, don't think a lot. Waise bhi soch ke tumne kya ukhaad liya abhi tak?( Thinking never gets you anywhere action does.)( This is my pet slogan and a very effective one TM .).

Hey hey, I did not tell you one little thing. The do's and don'ts of the conversation. So when you are JUST CHATTING please don't say the following sentences, they are strictly prohibited.

• "I want to become the father of your child"
• "Will you marry me?"
• "I love you ."
• "I like you ."
• "You're soooooooooooo beautiful."( Better start dancing like a girl after saying this :p)
• "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass again."(That's old cliche now)
• *Any one liners that you think will work, refrain from it.
• "Hey can I take your bag?"( You want to impress her, you're not here to ask her for a servant's job)
• "Hey I like you since *whatever centuries or eons ago*. Wanna go out?"
• "You remind me of my sister."
• "You remind me of my Ex-Girlfriend."
• "You remind me of my mother." ( aww soo cute)
• "Hey I know your big brother, can we be frns?" ( Yeah as if her bossy big brother wasn't enough)
• "Hi, do you have a big brother?" (Pussyyyy)
• "Hi, do you have a younger sister?" (aaaiiikkkk   despoooo......)
• "Hey, remember me?"(Oh, come on! How is she ever gonna remember you? You don't even exist ,remember?)

  Instead, talk about something light, something that'll get the conversation going and wont make it complex. Don't twist the conversation like your cruel baai ( maid ) does with your innocent clothes.Try cracking small jokes, if wittism isn't your forte, don't push it, try and be yourself, feel wonderful about yourself. You gotta feel like You're The Man not You're The Man, "Who else will she be with, if not you?" 

Girls are very intuitive, they can differentiate quite well between a man who takes control to a man who gets controlled. 

So go for it dude.......JUST CHAT!!!!!

Hell ! Just Do It And Do It Right Now !

There's a ancient saying" Take a leap of faith ". That means you take a leap and don't worry about falling. Some great man said I can't quote this exact words but the meaning is somewhat close to this :

Jump from the highest peak and make a parachute on the way.(Please don't try this at home or outside :::DDDDD)

  Well after sometime you are past that pit, you've taken the leap everything goes fine and then someday you realise that that jump was not worth at all so you take a jump back ( or get thrown back) and come back to the side you were before. Ready to take the leap again? You bet! You wanna do it all over again and again and again. So persistent are we, humans(especially when it comes to doing something for something we love). This phenomenon could be very often seen in romantic relations but very uncommon when it comes to achieving your goal or some other non-fatal highly rewarding work that'll surely give you something to brag about your whole life. Humans can't be blamed because blinded by society and its imperfections impregnated in them with centuries of nagging and instructing and  traditions and taboo they have become increasing programmed to believe in something they shouldn't. People are becoming increasingly afraid in taking the leap of faith and want to remain on the safer side and hence lead constrained lives. Some of us don't even know what real happiness is. Many haven't felt the feeling of butterflies in their stomach and believe me its the best feeling. It sure gives me a feeling that I'm alive, try that sometime.
Start now people, think about something that gives you butterflies in your stomach(only non criminal ones are encouraged) and do that thing. It could be talking to some random girl or a girl you love( and you don't want to confess your love to her future not so yours babies : D), maybe you want to confess something  to your father or you wanna go skydiving. Just go do it. You wont get tomorrow, its today that you have and DARR KE AAGE JEET HAI( After fear somes victory ), so go for it and see how it feels and do tell me how it feels :DDDDD.................