The Art Of Moving On : Practical Techniques On How To Let Go And Move On After A Nasty Breakup

"Sometimes you just have to turn around, give a little smile, throw the match and burn that bridge. Learn from your mistakes and change them for the better."

Hey fellow readers! Let me tell you all a little bit about myself before we go on this journey of  'Moving On'. First! I am just a person. Second ! I have also been in love and have had my heart broken into small, tiny, microscopic pieces. Third! I am not a relationship expert who has all the answers and I'm sure nobody has. What I have to offer, is an experience, an experience that I will share with you in parts.

'Moving On' is an art and since we all are artists in some way or the other we can all learn to practice this art and master it eventually. An attachment to the past not only gives rise to unnecessary emotional stress but also hinders the natural process through which you improve and transform yourself to become a better human being. A large part of the human race, the young and the old, find it difficult to move on after a break up.

"A body tends to be in its present state before being acted upon by some force," as Newton says it; the first law of motion is so analogous to our psyche as well. We are resistant to change, always reluctant to move forward. We always want the old ways back, we are emotionally tied up to the place we grew up, we're emotionally tied to our first bike, our families and our childhood pet. While all these memories are healthy, emotional attachment to your EX can be detrimental to your emotional and physical well being.

Here are some powerful tips that, if taken seriously, will surely help you to forget about her and get on with your life.

Moving On Tip No.1 

Decide firmly that you want to move on : Are you sure you want to move on and you definitely don't want to go back and make things better? Yes ? Then carry on reading. First, make sure that you won't go back what comes may. Whenever you have a strong urge to go back, think of the scenarios that will help you to stay away from her. It may be the regular fights, the constant nagging, her many male friends, her habit of flirting with other guys, her non-understanding attitude, her indifference towards you, etc. Think about what may go wrong if you get back together. Write it down on a piece of paper and say it out loud. Maybe you are sure that the flame wont be reignited, that you are exhausted,  and that going back will only make things worse for you if not better.

After thinking about all this are you still sure? Then read further my dear friend !

Moving On Tip No.2

Remind yourself the kind of 'BITCH' she was : Remember the day when she turned your friends against you? Or when she told you that she's out with her family and went to meet a mysterious guy friend? Or do you remember how bad she made you feel about yourself everyday ? Or how she ignores your calls when she is with her friends ? Also, do you remember when she said that she will leave you if her parents won't approve of you?
Every time you feel like going back to her, please remind yourself what kind of a bitch she was to make you feel so angry so unwanted and unappreciated. How she cheated or fooled you into believing that this relationship will last forever or that she will never ever leave you or lie to you.

Moving On Tip No.3

If she's happy without you then why can't you be? : Girls have an excellent ability, the ability which helps them score good grades even when their relationships are going through a hard phase or even in the midst of a break up; if you are put in the same scenario you will hopelessly struggle to concentrate on a single word and have difficulty to even score a decent 'D'. It is a very rare gift from the almighty, a gift of 'forgetfulness'. They can easily forget anyone or anything. So far, guys have not been able to develop this ability but I'm sure evolution will help bring this ability in the future men's race and then we can be at par with  ladies on this so called 'GIFT OF FORGETFULNESS'. Until then keep fighting the good fight comrades!

Yes, girls forget and she has forgotten everything about you. She's forgotten all about the great times you had, the bond that you shared, the compassionate kisses and intimate hugs. She may also be busy making new memories altogether with your best friend, then why do you have to bother so much and stick yourself to those past experiences. Be happy, talk to new people,date, flirt and make your own experiences. Do whatever makes you happy. What would you like to do if you had time just for yourself? Do it now, this is the right time. Make use of this period of joy, it is also a gift from the almighty. Think about the activities that make you happy rather thinking about her and just go forth and do those activities.

Moving On Tip No.4

You Are Awesome. Love and reward yourself everyday : Remember ! You are You!!  Shun any self-deprecating thought. Hit the gym, go swimming, go watch your favorite game or immerse yourself in an activity that you love to do. Make use of the new found freedom and do something constructive with it. Remember that being in a romantic relation is a full time job and does not give you enough time to concentrate on yourself and the things that matter to you.

Start Loving yourself, you are awesome!

Moving On Tip No.5

Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, why are you still hitting yourself ? (In the words of the great Mike Myers): Got this one from the movie 'The Love Guru'. The most important thing that you should stop doing right now is blaming yourself. If anything, blame her ! Blame her for not understanding, for not paying attention to your wants and desires. Blame her for her selfishness and egoism. Blame her for lying to you. Have infallible faith in yourself when you blame her. Thoroughly believe that whatever blame you are putting on her is absolutely correct. This will give you a satisfaction that you could never have imagined, try it and experience the 'Wonders of blaming'.

Moving On Tip No.6

Understand that pain is only transient : You need to understand that what you are feeling right now is only transient and will only last until you have found yourself a suitable match. One of the goals of the human race is to find a suitable match and live their whole lives with them or in a nutshell 'Reproduce'. Understand that the goal will be reached eventually but now the path will be different. The pain will only last until you find the one who is best for you. Until then live your life going around with random chicks and being hopeful in the background.

I will be posting some more tips on the Art Of Moving On, until then practice all the techniques given above and tell me how they make you feel. Keep visiting my blog as I try to fight this 'Not Moving On Amongst Guys' syndrome.

Finding Your True Self - Inspirational Quotes

Refer to the link  given below to read my article on :

Finding Your True Self - Become Who You Are Destined To Be

Finding Your True Self - Become Who You Are Destined To Be

I’m doing a lot of work these days. I’m working to make my life more powerful, more worthwhile and more satisfying. I've taken a break from my work and my routine and I usually write and contemplate. The questions that I ask myself are – What can I do to make my life more fulfilling? What am I doing right now to make it that way? What do I want in my life right now? What really amuses me? After 5 years from now what would I like to tell people about myself? What is my ideal house and surrounding? What are the types of people I would like myself to be surrounded with, 5 years from now? How much money would I like to have? How can I balance my career and my emotional cravings? How would I like to be remembered by people after I died? The list goes on and on and on. So far I haven’t been able to figure out all the answers but I have found the answers to some and they do feel satisfying.

I think that if you just clear your mind from everything, every negative thought and every responsibility and then sit and start doing something that you really enjoy, that something will answer a lot of questions about you. Maybe you like to sit and write, like me, or maybe you like to paint or it may be that you get awesome crazy ideas when you are free. It could be anything or everything but you just need to sit and think about it and accept it. Once you have accepted yourself then starts the difficult part, your struggle for acceptance in this world. But first, you need to accept yourself.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

-Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

The struggle for acceptance is a hard one, but with firm resolve and commitment you can make it happen for yourself. You can force people to accept you by proving them wrong.  In these times of opportunity anybody can do anything. Everybody has the means but not the will. It’s the people who have the ‘will’, will also find the means and will survive and be able to lead a truly fulfilling life.

One of the things that I dread the most is when I picture myself sitting in a chair all old and withered, contemplating about what would my life have been had I shown a little courage and gone through my life the way my heart told me to go. This nightmare always keeps me in track and always reminds me of what is important to me in my life.

The key is that you don’t go after the path that people set for you, that way you can only become a follower. This is your life, you have to make your own path; and you will be the only one who will bear the consequences of the decisions you make and not anybody else. In this way, when you set your path and move on with full courage and determination, then only you can create something of value and also influence people to follow in your footsteps. Only then will you become a true leader in your eyes and also in the eyes of this world around you. You will become the master of your destiny.

So think, think deeply. And if you can’t find it, keep thinking, keep searching. Do not lose hope. You will surely be able to find the thing that you love to do and that one of many things that you are best at. Only then will your life become more beautiful, more fulfilling and more satisfying. You will become the Michael Angelo of your masterpiece, that masterpiece which you will proudly call your ‘life’.

So think and think harder. Take some risks. Do not fail in this struggle of constantly finding and exploring yourself. Since this approach gives you the ultimate reward of satisfaction, this approach is not easy. But the rewards are so great that this struggle seems nothing in front of them.  

This post is dedicated to the rebels, the eccentrics who forced the world to follow in their footsteps because of their unmovable faith and firm resolve and also to those people who are struggling to find their true self. This faith can only be generated if you do something that really matters to you. In the end we all have to make a name for ourselves in the world and through this approach I’m sure that not only will you be able to make a big bold statement to the world around you but also you will become a true legend, a true hero in your own self and in the end that is the thing that matters the most.

I have also handpicked a series of inspirational quotes, with images, from the internet. Refer to the link to see them :

Finding Your True Self - Inspirational Quotes

Listen To Your Heart - A Simple Test To Make You Realize What You Really Want !

There are some individuals for whom nothing is impossible and there are some for whom nothing is possible. I wonder what brings about this distinction in people and their way of thinking. Are people born like this? Or eventually turned out to be the way they are by society or by the way they are brought up. I guess this is for the psychologists to find out.

I have come across some pretty good excuses or 'reasons' when people are not able to accomplish something. Some of the classic ones are : I did not want it anyway, I have other options, this was not what I really wanted, I'm satisfied with what I have, and the list goes on. Is this the right attitude? Sometimes Yes! and Sometimes No! Our brain function is complex, but it works in fairly simple ways and that is -

 "Whatever you condition it to believe in, it will give you a thousand reasons as to why you should believe in it". 

It just won't stop making your decision seem rational to you by giving you a hundred more reasons; but your heart functions in a completely different way, inside it knows that you may just be fooling yourself, or this time you may actually be right. One should try and listen to those signals, those butterflies and those emotional pangs when you are saying something that seems rational to your brain but untrue to your heart.

We all know how to listen to the voice inside, but by constant practice and maneuver almost everybody has developed a habit to just ignore it and move on. Moving on is good, sometimes healthy also, but moving on  also gives rise to a lifetime of regrets;moving on also gives rise to guilt. So maybe sometimes it's better to 'not move on' and fix what is broken. Maybe sometimes it's better to listen your heart and feel something that is real and pure. Maybe sometimes in this fast-paced life its better to just sit and listen to the voice inside of you. This voice that is always trying to steer you in the right direction and to the right purpose.

So maybe after reading this post you will think about whether whatever it is that you are saying or commanding yourself to believe in is worth its weight or is it just one more excuse to make your mind find more rational reasons to justify your irrational decisions. 

As a test, whenever you find yourself making that 'classic excuse' just ask yourself - how would you feel when you have achieved that thing from which you are shying away from? Imagine that you have already achieved it. Take a deep breath and give a minute to think about it. How does it feel? If it feels good, then go ahead, try again and give your best this time, and if it doesn't then don't waste your time trying. 

Read More on Finding Your True Self- Become Who You Are Destined To be 

Good Day Folks - Morning Wishes From A Fellow Indian Friend

I always wonder what would it feel like if the sun rises right in front me at 12 in the midnight while I'm preparing myself for a good night's sleep after finishing the day's work. It’s midnight here in India and almost everyone around me has fallen asleep, so I thought about writing this article for the people living in countries where the sun has already risen or is about to rise.

 Howdy dear friends! Hope your day turns out to be a great. I hope you get through this day without being run over by a vehicle, without slipping and felling on a banana skin, carelessly thrown by some idiot, on the road; without being shouted at by your boss and without having to work for more than 8 hours on this day. I wish that your spouse maintains a good mood throughout the day and treats you with intimate kisses and hugs whenever you meet her and that she does not pester to meet your in-laws and I also wish that she gives you enough space to let you watch your favorite game and most importantly I wish she understands you this day. I hope that your coffee machine does not malfunction and I also hope that your dog does not piss on your couch today. I pray for the late comers that they are able to get the cab on time and are not stymied by traffic along the way. I sincerely wish that your colleague does not try to get credit for your idea, that you secretly told him, by babbling it out to the boss before you were able to. For the single people I wish you get your “damsel in distress” and are able to discover your princely ways and long lost heroism by rescuing her or her Apso (one and the same thing). For the fat ones I hope that “fate keeps you away from Pizza Hut’s way”. For the beautiful I hope your sunscreen does a good job by saving you from all that unhealthy UV radiations and also that your beauty enhancing efforts are recognized in your circle. For the crazy ones I hope you find your craze. For the lazy ones I wish you find a way to earn money by keeping your lethargy and integrity intact. For the hard workers I wish your vacation plan doesn't get screwed and your leaves are approved by your boss. For the nagging ones I hope you do not have a “busy day” .

With all these crazy wishes I wish you all a VERY GOOD MORNING while I will sleep in sleep’s tight and comfy embrace and prepare for my crazy day tomorrow.

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है

सोच लो , समझ लो ,

चाहे कितनी ही योजनायें बना लो ,

सत्य समझने की कितनी भी कोशिश कर लो,

कितना भी भूलो-भटको तुम,

अंत में यही पाओगे की,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

तुम चले हर जगह.भटके हर जगह,

ना जाने कितने लोगों से मिले,

सबके अलग अलग विचार सुने,

उनकी राह पर चले, गिरे, संभले,

रोये,टूटे और फिर दम से आगे बढे ,

कभी सोचा है की इतनी हिम्मत आई कहा से?

इतना सहना आखिर तुम चाहते क्यों हो?

कितना भी समझ डालो,कितनी भी कोशिशें कर डालो,

अंत में येही पाओगे की,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

राह हैं बटी हुई,सौ राहें बनी हुई,

पर तुम्हारे लिए तो एक ही बनी थी, है और रहेगी,

तुम्हारे लिए तो एक ही राह भगवान् ने चुनी,

अपनी आत्मा की आवाज़ को सुनने की आदत डालो,

अपना सत्य स्वयं पहचानो,

तब सारी पहाड़ सी मुश्किलें तिनके में बदल जाएँगी,

और वो सच्ची राह तुम्हे तुम्हारा सरल परिचय कराएंगी, 

तब तुम अंत में यही पाओगे की,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

दिल की आवाज़ दबती नहीं लाख दबाई जाये,

खुद से कभी तुम छुप नहीं सकते लाख छुपने की कोशिश की जाये,

दबाना है अगर तो तर्क को दबाओ,

जीवन में तर्क के बजाये दिल का वजूद बढाओ,

तब ये श्रृष्टि तुम्हारे कदम चूमेगी,

तुम्हारे इर्द गिर्द सारी दुनिया घूमेगी,

तब तुम ये समझ जाओगे की,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

जो करना है आज कर डालो, जो कहना है आज कह डालो,
मौत का भय किसी को जीने नहीं देता,

मरता हर कोई एक बार है बार बार कोई नहीं मरता,

जब इस हिम्मत से तुम आगे बढोगे,

तब हर सर तुम्हारे आगे सजदे करेंगे,

तब सच में समझोगे तुम,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

जो जिद्द करते हैं उन्ही का ये जहाँ सारा है,

बिना जिद्द के बताओ किसने कहाँ क्या परबत उखाड़ा है,

जिद्द करो इस जीवन में, यह तुम्हारा है,

इसका सफल  प्रयोग इश्वर ने तुम्हारे हाथ में डाला है,

चलो आगे बढ़ो ये संसार तुम्हारा है,
तब अंत में येही पाओगे की,

जो बात दिल से निकली सत्य है.

Hell ! Just Do It And Do It Right Now !

There's a ancient saying" Take a leap of faith ". That means you take a leap and don't worry about falling. Some great man said I can't quote this exact words but the meaning is somewhat close to this :

Jump from the highest peak and make a parachute on the way.(Please don't try this at home or outside :::DDDDD)

  Well after sometime you are past that pit, you've taken the leap everything goes fine and then someday you realise that that jump was not worth at all so you take a jump back ( or get thrown back) and come back to the side you were before. Ready to take the leap again? You bet! You wanna do it all over again and again and again. So persistent are we, humans(especially when it comes to doing something for something we love). This phenomenon could be very often seen in romantic relations but very uncommon when it comes to achieving your goal or some other non-fatal highly rewarding work that'll surely give you something to brag about your whole life. Humans can't be blamed because blinded by society and its imperfections impregnated in them with centuries of nagging and instructing and  traditions and taboo they have become increasing programmed to believe in something they shouldn't. People are becoming increasingly afraid in taking the leap of faith and want to remain on the safer side and hence lead constrained lives. Some of us don't even know what real happiness is. Many haven't felt the feeling of butterflies in their stomach and believe me its the best feeling. It sure gives me a feeling that I'm alive, try that sometime.
Start now people, think about something that gives you butterflies in your stomach(only non criminal ones are encouraged) and do that thing. It could be talking to some random girl or a girl you love( and you don't want to confess your love to her future not so yours babies : D), maybe you want to confess something  to your father or you wanna go skydiving. Just go do it. You wont get tomorrow, its today that you have and DARR KE AAGE JEET HAI( After fear somes victory ), so go for it and see how it feels and do tell me how it feels :DDDDD.................