Sunday, July 28, 2013

Why Do Men Behave Like Women

Since ancient times men have been the provider and the protector. God gave them a logical mind to aid in the survival of their families whereas women were supposed to sit at home and control the kids and cook that raw deer the men brought home after hunting. Women had nothing to do other than that, and logic had nothing to do with whatever chores women had to perform inside their straw homes. But there was something that had to be developed, so women developed sensitivity. Sensitivity for her kids and also sensitivity for her fellow females who needed someone to be sensitive with them so that they may not feel alone. Among other things that developed was their ability to multitask, to seduce and to nag.
In ancient times, that is in the golden ages women subconsciously knew about this difference so they did not interfere with the men's psyche. Things got worse when the gap between men's rationality and a women's sensitivity squeezed to an ant. Women thought that they could also be rational and men were falsely made to believe them by men's own stupidity and a women's carnal abilities. Things were going well until the balance between men's rationality and women's sensitivity was disturbed. Men started behaving like women and women not aware of whatever's happening blamed it on the guy, and so these phrases like,

"Don't be a pussy."

"You're such a girl."

"Stop crying like a girl."

"Why are you so sensitive?" Came into existence.

Reality check ladies. You want us to be sensitive and when we start behaving like it, you curse us to be behaving like you.

Are men to be blamed ? Yes! God gave you the gift of reason and you let it get wasted by trusting some extraterrestrial, oversensitive species, more than yourself (there are scientific proofs that women actually came from Venus). You just want to believe them or they will make you believe them, and they have the means to do that.  You get seduced by their beauty and their lustful ways. Inside you know that you don't want to do as they want, because you know that it may not be in your best interest, but she is still able to carry you away with her irresistible scent and her jaguar like curves. 

God made men with with just one manufacturing defect. Actually there are two but I would like to talk about one. Like in the words of Robin Williams.

"God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."

This is so true. This is men's weakness and men who can control it, can control their girl and control their world.

So why am I even writing this article ? To tell you about a fact? To discuss something ? None of it. I just want to talk. Want to talk you about how things are. Maybe you could give me a solution to this. What happens to men's reason when women come and ask us to do the most illogical thing ? What happens to my reason when I try and concentrate on my big presentation tomorrow at work and I think about her and can't concentrate? Why can't men say no to something when that thing is asked of them during a passionate kiss? Why do men have the urge to not see women's grouchy and sad faces and eventually yield to their outrageous demands? 

All I know that for us men nothing is for free. We have to pay for everything be it for a pizza or keeping his woman happy, whereas for women everything is free. Things have been like this since ages and I dread that things may not change in the near future.

Is there a solution or are we damned to live in this constant war of logic vs sensitivity inside our magnanimous brains? 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Booze Booze Everywhere, Not A Scotch To Sniff

Sheer awkwardness and helplessness can overwhelm you so badly during certain situations. I recently went through such an experience. Me and my relatives went to this Pub where everybody was allowed to drink but me, and this was due to me being the youngest of them all.

I was too devastated than frustrated to an ocean of booze all around, and not being able to take just a pint or two out of the shore myself. I got so pissed that I sat in my place and did not talk to anyone. My father noticed me and began his unrelenting ordeal to make small talk with me. Just to figure out what was going on in my mind.

Excerpts from that talk.

What I wanted to say

Dad : " Why aren't you saying anything?"
Me : " I am not saying anything because I so very badly wanna do something else with my mouth."
After a little while.

Dad :" Don't be bored. We are here for a very "short" stay. Atleast you should enjoy."
Me : "What? Did you say shot? I am up for one."

Dad : " Is anything bothering you?"
Me : " No dad, it's everything that is bothering me and what bothers me the most is that you have had your 3 large and I cannot even sniff my  regular scotch."

Dad : " Eat properly, do you not like the food."
Me : " My throat is really dry dad,it's choking, can I order a drink to wet it a little? Maybe then the food will slide down my throat !"

My dad telling other guests,
Dad : " My son is a very fun loving person, but he takes some time to open up."
Me : " Yeah dad, just let me order one little one and I swear that I won't require a single second to open up."

What I really said

Dad : " Why aren't you saying anything?"
Me : " Got this really important mail to send." I said while playing temple run 2 in my phone.

After a little while.
Dad : " Don't be bored. We are here for a very "short" stay. Atleast you should enjoy."
Me : " I am enjoying dad just don't feel like saying much." I said crossing 5000 metres.

Dad : " Is anything bothering you?"
Me : " Nothing dad, just don't feel like talking."

Dad : " Eat properly, do you not like the food."
Me : " Had too much in evening snacks. I feel so full."

My dad telling other guests,
Dad : " My son is a very fun loving person, but he takes some time to open up."
I let go of this comment with a smile in my face.