Why Do Men Behave Like Women

Since ancient times men have been the provider and the protector. God gave them a logical mind to aid in the survival of their families whereas women were supposed to sit at home and control the kids and cook that raw deer the men brought home after hunting. Women had nothing to do other than that, and logic had nothing to do with whatever chores women had to perform inside their straw homes. But there was something that had to be developed, so women developed sensitivity. Sensitivity for her kids and also sensitivity for her fellow females who needed someone to be sensitive with them so that they may not feel alone. Among other things that developed was their ability to multitask, to seduce and to nag.
  
In ancient times, that is in the golden ages women subconsciously knew about this difference so they did not interfere with the men's psyche. Things got worse when the gap between men's rationality and a women's sensitivity squeezed to an ant. Women thought that they could also be rational and men were falsely made to believe them by men's own stupidity and a women's carnal abilities. Things were going well until the balance between men's rationality and women's sensitivity was disturbed. Men started behaving like women and women not aware of whatever's happening blamed it on the guy, and so these phrases like,

"Don't be a pussy."

"You're such a girl."

"Stop crying like a girl."

"Why are you so sensitive?" Came into existence.

Reality check ladies. You want us to be sensitive and when we start behaving like it, you curse us to be behaving like you.

Are men to be blamed ? Yes! God gave you the gift of reason and you let it get wasted by trusting some extraterrestrial, oversensitive species, more than yourself (there are scientific proofs that women actually came from Venus). You just want to believe them or they will make you believe them, and they have the means to do that.  You get seduced by their beauty and their lustful ways. Inside you know that you don't want to do as they want, because you know that it may not be in your best interest, but she is still able to carry you away with her irresistible scent and her jaguar like curves. 

God made men with with just one manufacturing defect. Actually there are two but I would like to talk about one. Like in the words of Robin Williams.

"God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."

This is so true. This is men's weakness and men who can control it, can control their girl and control their world.

So why am I even writing this article ? To tell you about a fact? To discuss something ? None of it. I just want to talk. Want to talk you about how things are. Maybe you could give me a solution to this. What happens to men's reason when women come and ask us to do the most illogical thing ? What happens to my reason when I try and concentrate on my big presentation tomorrow at work and I think about her and can't concentrate? Why can't men say no to something when that thing is asked of them during a passionate kiss? Why do men have the urge to not see women's grouchy and sad faces and eventually yield to their outrageous demands? 

All I know that for us men nothing is for free. We have to pay for everything be it for a pizza or keeping his woman happy, whereas for women everything is free. Things have been like this since ages and I dread that things may not change in the near future.

Is there a solution or are we damned to live in this constant war of logic vs sensitivity inside our magnanimous brains? 

Cheers to the Absolute Vodka of our lives - Happy Women's Day

This Women’s Day, cheers to all the women in my life. Thanks to my mom for being my strength and also my worst critic. Thanks to my sis-in-law for her patience in dealing with me. Thanks to my elder sister for making my breakfast at 6 in the morning when I went to school. Thanks to my X girl friend for teaching me that I should not let any girl to get out of my control :D.

I can’t describe and I can’t predict the depth of the effect that these ladies continue to have on my life. Above all a mother is the epitome of patience who lovingly bears all of our tantrums from the day we were born. Your sister is your best companion, your friend, your silent guardian (guards you from dad’s wrath), your teacher (my sis used to teach me math, all the time), she’s the one who’s next to your mother and what not. I can write a book on my sister and yet not be satisfied. Then enters your GF, she teaches you how to control yourself from killing anyone even if you have all the intention to do so. She teaches you that going out in the evening is essential for your well being even if you are in a crisis or in middle of your exams…haha, other than the good part she also teaches you to love, to live and most importantly come out of your beloved couch and really start doing something. Then comes your sis-in-law who is a completely different breed altogether. At first she seems like she’s coming from a different world but after some time she becomes your best companion and inspiration. She teaches you to be patient, she takes care of the family and she understand you. Even if she’s not able to understand your brother she will understand you; she’s a friend and after your sis gets married and leaves you, she’s the one to fill her gap.

A Grand Salute To All These Women, they have been an inspiration. In the end we men know that without the opposite sex we’re an empty mineral water bottle which will only be worth when either it contains mineral water or water mixed with Absolute Vodka. 

Cheers to the Absolute Vodka of our lives. 

Just Chat : How To Start A Conversation With The Girl You Like

               
So you like this girl since the third standard and u are not able to tell her. Now you are in the tenth standard, your hormones have started to kick real bad and still you can't muster the courage to talk to her. You see her talking to other guys and you wonder,"Damn! Why can't I do that? Those guys are so lucky." You think that you are in love but how will you make her realise? So one day you are fed up, you're just about to blow up, you can't take it any more, you'll have to tell her otherwise you'll die, and then you commit the worst mistake. You go straight to her and tell her," Uhh!! Excuse me." She looks at you, gives you a confused look still you go on and you say it, those deadly words," I love you, sorry to startle you but I do." And you expect her to hug you and say, "Hey, I love you too, lets go out for a coffee," but instead of this the opposite happens. She'll says "Oh! I'm sorry but I'm not interested," or maybe she says "Fuck off despo!" or if things are a lot worse she'll say "I'm not interested, do I even know you?" See you never existed for her. What if, somebody you never knew existed came to you( no matter how cute ) and says "Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hun"( "I'm bearing your child punk!" ). Then what will your reply be? Certainly not nice.( Though you should reconsider based on the level of cuteness of that girl :DDDD)


 Well, from what I've learnt from my experience, girls are no aliens brothers. They like to talk to us as much as we like to talk to them. So go on, you like this girl? Just go and chat! Don't think a lot. A very famous author wrote "What you concentrate on gets bigger."( Why the hell I can't remember the names of these famous authors ugghhhh). So don't make any strategies, any virtual talk shows or any kind of conversation in your mind because they'll certainly be negative and they'll get bigger and bigger and eventually you'll end up not doing what you're supposed to do. Just take a deep breath, go to her and JUST CHAT. She'll certainly not kill you, she may not talk to you but she will not kill you. If you approach her courteously and in a disciplined way she'll definitely not hit you on your face! So you can relax.

I believe that every complex problem has a very simple solution. So do you like this girl? Just go and chat, don't think a lot. Waise bhi soch ke tumne kya ukhaad liya abhi tak?( Thinking never gets you anywhere action does.)( This is my pet slogan and a very effective one TM .).

Hey hey, I did not tell you one little thing. The do's and don'ts of the conversation. So when you are JUST CHATTING please don't say the following sentences, they are strictly prohibited.

• "I want to become the father of your child"
• "Will you marry me?"
• "I love you ."
• "I like you ."
• "You're soooooooooooo beautiful."( Better start dancing like a girl after saying this :p)
• "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass again."(That's old cliche now)
• *Any one liners that you think will work, refrain from it.
• "Hey can I take your bag?"( You want to impress her, you're not here to ask her for a servant's job)
• "Hey I like you since *whatever centuries or eons ago*. Wanna go out?"
• "You remind me of my sister."
• "You remind me of my Ex-Girlfriend."
• "You remind me of my mother." ( aww soo cute)
• "Hey I know your big brother, can we be frns?" ( Yeah as if her bossy big brother wasn't enough)
• "Hi, do you have a big brother?" (Pussyyyy)
• "Hi, do you have a younger sister?" (aaaiiikkkk   despoooo......)
• "Hey, remember me?"(Oh, come on! How is she ever gonna remember you? You don't even exist ,remember?)

  Instead, talk about something light, something that'll get the conversation going and wont make it complex. Don't twist the conversation like your cruel baai ( maid ) does with your innocent clothes.Try cracking small jokes, if wittism isn't your forte, don't push it, try and be yourself, feel wonderful about yourself. You gotta feel like You're The Man not You're The Man, "Who else will she be with, if not you?" 

Girls are very intuitive, they can differentiate quite well between a man who takes control to a man who gets controlled. 

So go for it dude.......JUST CHAT!!!!!